Many expectant mothers make an adoption decision without the birth fathers or their consent. Without your support this can make the adoption process more difficult as in many adoptions both birth parents have to agree to the adoption or legally the rights of a father can be terminated without his signature. Contact the birth mother and let her know that you are willing to be part of the adoption or parenting plan. You are willing to go to doctor’s appointments and help her with pregnancy expenses.

Ask her about her thoughts and feelings and what she feels is best. Is she considering parenting if she received child support from you? Does she feel that both your lifestyles would contribute to a good environment for a child to grow up in? Or has she already started with an adoption plan?

There are various rights birth fathers have depending on their state and her state, so make sure to communicate with the birth mother early, and before the birth. You have a right to speak to an adoption coordinator about how you can be part of an adoption plan and how, you, and if you would like, your family, can have ongoing contact with your child and the adoptive family after the birth. Started early enough you can be part of the adoptive family selection and meet the adoptive parents if you wish. Many birth fathers just want to do the responsible thing, would like to have some say in the adoption plan and want a better future for their child.

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