Birth Father Questions


“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.”

Bob Dylan


Whether you just found out your girlfriend is pregnant or you discovered you are father to a child already born, you probably have questions…

Explore questions and answers about adoption from a man’s perspective.

You Are Not Alone

Millions of men and women experience unplanned or unexpected pregnancies every year, and there are many resources to help you with making decisions.

The term “birth father” is warmer than “biological father”, and often refers to the biological father of a child placed for adoption. And that is who this site is geared toward, men who, along with their child’s mother, may be exploring or considering adoption for their child. Answers for your questions are available for you, 24/7, by calling. or texting. 1-800-923-6784.

Get Help Now

If you need help right now, we are here to help. We have adoption coordinators standing by 24 hours a day by phone or text at 1.800.923.6784.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Can you provide for your child? Birth parents choose adoption for many reasons. Some chose adoption because they know they can’t provide for a child’s needs at this time in life.

Ask Us a Question

Do you have a question about a father’s role in unexpected pregnancy? We would be happy to provide you with a personalized answer for your specific circumstances.

Q and A

If you are thinking about adoption, know that adoption can be one of the most loving decisions you’ll make for your child. Read our Q&A and make an informed decision.

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“My wife and I had just split up when we found out she was pregnant. We had a plan for sharing our kids, but to be honest, one more baby wasn’t going to fix our relationship. She didn’t want to consider adoption but we both agreed that this was the best thing for all of us, including our children.”

-Demetrious L, New York, NY September 24, 2019

See Waiting Families

Finding an adoptive family for your baby is a great way to provide the best future possible for your child. And remember, it’s never too early or too late in your pregnancy to start looking for that perfect family!

You may simply be asking: What do I do with my life and an unplanned pregnancy? Can I make it through this? If I’m not ready to parent, what can I do?

Western Region

See Families waiting in the western USA.

Central States

See Families waiting in the Midwest.


See Families waiting in the New England.


See Families waiting in the Southeastern United States.

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can seem surreal to many guys. This decision you are facing can be as difficult as it is for the birth mother, but there is help. You can request an adoption kit and find answers to your questions. And there is always a caring coordinator on call 24 hours a day. 800-923-6784. Click to call. or Click to text.

Explore questions and answers about adoption from a man’s perspective

“My parents want to raise the baby instead of adoption, but they are too old and I don’t want my child raised by relatives. It would be too hard. I want to give my son or daughter a chance to make something of themselves, do better than my life and have a chance to travel and go to college. Maybe private school. I know a girlfriend that had older parents and by the time was 22 they had both died. I want my child to have siblings, grandparents and younger parents to raise him or her. I want them to have two parents and a dog. A room of their own and vacations with family. Things I didn’t have. I can create this for him or her by choosing adoption for them. I have some say on the life they will have. I want to give that to my child. I want to go to school myself and someday my child will be proud of me and what I made of myself.” – Dwayne, a birth father who, along with his girlfriend, chose adoption for their son

I’m feeling all these emotions I’ve never felt before. Shame, embarrassment and sadness – what is up with this?

An unplanned pregnancy in any relationship is life-changing and brings on lots of feelings and emotions. The news of an unexpected pregnancy can drastically alter the plans of many people’s lives. This can be challenging, especially if things were going well, you were on track for school, work or even a new relationship. This news doesn’t have to be bad, but it does have to be thought through.

  • How will my decision affect me now and in years to come?
  • How will my decision affect the child and his or her mother? Their future?
  • What do I want?
  • What’s best?
  • How can I make the right decision even if it’s the hardest?
  • Who can I turn to for help and support? Who will understand?

Take the time you need to process through all of the emotions that come with an unplanned pregnancy. If it’s possible, process these emotions together with the mother. Give each other room to work through the negative feelings — fear, frustration, anger, hurt, embarrassment and confusion — that come with unplanned pregnancy. Even though it’s hard and even though things are going to change, they can change for the better in the end. You can do the right thing and feel you had some control over the outcome.

It’s natural for birth fathers to experience many of these emotions

Because birth fathers often feel like they didn’t live up to others expectations, they feel a heaviness that comes with the responsibilities of being the father. They are disappointed in themselves and have a fear that their family, friends, buddies, and co-workers will look at them as, somehow, failing as a man and not providing for this child. Guys often struggle to come to grips and accept the fact that at this time in their lives they cannot be a dad and provide what a child needs where an adoptive family can. It takes time to wrap your head around that feeling. It becomes about the child and not you, the guy. Guys have to take themselves out of the picture and instead put the future needs of this little child into focus for the child’s well being. It takes a tough guy to come to this realization and to take the right steps. Often a short period of feeling these feelings verses a lifetime of regrets for messing up you and your child’s life is worth it.

If this is you and you have just found out you are the father of an unborn child you are not alone. The fact is that by supporting an adoption plan doesn’t depict you as a weak, uncaring, irresponsible guy not living up to the responsibilities of a dad. It’s quite opposite, because you are man enough to see what you must do. The man you are today is one that responsibly meets the needs of the birth mother and child as they come up. Adoption is the most difficult and also most responsible decision you can make when facing an unplanned pregnancy. Making such a difficult decision takes a lot of strength and courage that in the end will make others proud, including your child. You will be remembered as a man of courage that blessed many people with your selflessness. The blessings you are giving to the adoptive parents, the birth mother and especially the blessing you are giving to your son or daughter and their future is honorable.

Even if you and the birth mother are not together, you may participate and be a part of the adoption plan. Sometimes speaking to someone that can help and explain the process helps.  Click to call. or Click to text.

Did you know we’re here 24/7 to help you?  1-800-923-6784. We don’t judge you or pressure you. We just listen and help you determine the best thing. We also have licensed counselors you can speak to confidentially. There is never a cost to you.